My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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