her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize