I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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