Is it because I queefed?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
