Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
