i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
