I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
