We won't sleep together?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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