Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
