So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
is wine microwaveable?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
