Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize