whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize