chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize