it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
