so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my shit smells like andre
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
