it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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