you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
and she was petting her beer can
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
