He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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