It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
