i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He passed out mid-signature
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
