Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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