Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
