do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
