bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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