i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
