I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
