you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
