hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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