He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The air taste purple.
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