Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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