just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
