C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
