i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
FUCK WHALES
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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