If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
