we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
