And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Boobs are out for the taking
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
