Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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