So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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