he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
