i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
