i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
