I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
