I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
