he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
as a side note pls kill me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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