Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my being single is dangerous.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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