you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
