the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
