There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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