The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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