Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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