kristin has been a bad kristin
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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