There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
