It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
