420 ftw
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
