remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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