people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
