Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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