I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
