covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
