I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
