I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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