i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
