is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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