the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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