I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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