i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
