btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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