a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
