Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
