Kiss
Puke
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
