sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm like, not good at living.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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