4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm at about main and main street
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Drunk is not a location!
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