ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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