I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
