Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize